In the beginning of summer, I was freshly out of a long-term relationship, off my ADHD medication, and bored out of my skull- a dangerous combination. Exams were over, and I had absolutely nothing to do but waste my time. was messing around on the internet, and found something that caught my eye. The Seraphim Society.

When I joined, I was greeted by “The Angel of Dissociation”, Misa, promising to answer any of my questions. As I began to look through all of the server’s pages, my curiosity rose with my stress levels. It seemed as if Misa genuinely thought she was a god.

I joined the server and began to look around. Misa had posted information regarding her beliefs and what the purpose of the group was. The more I read, I grew equally interested and equally worried. At the time, I didn’t intend to write anything, I was only curious what the purpose of the group even was. I looked around more, finding channels to discuss philosophy, talk casually, and a “shrine” where people would worship Misa. I still hadn’t sent a message yet, when I was greeted by “The Angel of Dissociation”, Misa, promising to answer any of my questions. Misa postured herself like a Buddha, capable of leading her followers to enlightenment. It was all for the aesthetic, she promised. If someone asked her, she would say the worship wasn’t truly serious, it was only a gimmick.

I didn’t really know how to feel about all of this. My heart raced, my head felt like it was spinning. It was the adrenaline rush of a lifetime. I still felt this was only a half-cult, not believing harm could come from it, not really.

II: Cosmology/Cosmetology

Misa said everyone is made up of three parts. The body, the mind, and the soul. The body is your flesh, your bones and blood. To Misa, it's a puppet, nothing more. You are your mind and soul, not your body. The body is the vessel for the mind and soul.

The mind is the seat of emotion and non-logical thought. Unless the soul is freed via ego death, the world will be perceived through an emotional lense, called the “Veil Of Perception” by Misa. Angels are distinct in lacking this veil.

The soul is what allows a person to undergo ego death and become an angel. The angel is the source of rational thought and enlightenment. Misa compares this to the “freudian superego.” In a message to her followers, Misa writes “An angel is the thing that lives inside the human brain, mind and soul. It’s the entity that sees through your eyes and influences your thoughts and actions.”

A necessary experience to trigger this “ego death” is depersonalization. According to the DSM5, depersonalization is a type of dissociation causing a disconnect from the self, or feeling “unreal”. Many individuals describe the experience as feeling trapped behind glass, in a fog, or otherwise separated from the world around them. To Misa, the separation from the body and the apathy triggered by depersonalization is key to enlightenment, allowing someone to see through “the veil of emotional perception.”Once having undergone an ego death, the soul can be freed, rendering the person an angel. Misa and her followers held DPDR in a high regard, not seeing it as harmful, but a benefit to the soul, a stepping stone to enlightenment.

III: Listen and Learn

I began documenting my interactions with the Jackalope Society. I dug through the old messages and information channels. I immersed myself in their group, told Misa what she wanted to hear and how she wanted to hear it. One particular experience stuck out to me: Misa telling me I was an angel.

We were talking about life, our worldviews, and the way we saw others. It was late at night for the both of us, and I knew I almost had her. She had shown me the manifesto (link) she was writing, and asked my thoughts on it. I felt equal parts horrified and seen. I was telling her what she wanted to hear, but a large amount of what I said came from personal experience. I told her how as a child, I felt deeply alone and as if I lacked something my peers had. I felt like there was something wrong with me- a sickness everyone but me could pinpoint. Misa told me it was because I was an angel. I was special, wiser than most. I knew things others didn’t and saw the truths they couldn’t. I was enlightened. My whole person felt split in half- I could stick to my beliefs, finish my work, or I could give up and give in. I was enthralled. I knew what convictions I held, who Misa was, and what I knew, but I’ll admit, the way she spoke almost had me convinced. I grew to trust her. I confided in her, laughed at her jokes, saw her as my friend. At the time, I considered abandoning the project. I looked down on her and up to her all at once. I looked forward to when we’d discuss philosophy and religion. It felt like someone finally understood me. After years of loneliness, I was at home here, in the Jackalope Society. I was an angel. I couldn’t betray her, could I?

The guilt was later knocked out of me. On July Fourteenth, after Fourteen days of membership, Jack (pseudonym),would post a message asking if they could carve images into their skin for Misa and Clove.

J: All hail Misa.

J:...blinks if I carve things onto my body as a worship/sacrifice am I allowed to post it- /genq

M:me and paze will have to make a decision about that ya

A day later, Clove responded, stating “Free will is free will.” Misa and Clove had discussed it amongst themselves, and came up with a few rules. The carvings would be called Consigils. Images of these Consigils must be censored, and If you carved Misa’s name, you had to carve clove’s, and vice versa. By partaking in the ritual, you understood that you partook of your own free will and was not coerced. I feel this is the best possible way to go about this, but it's only the lesser evil. If somoneone you look up to endorses a practice, you have incentive to do it. By allowing their followers to ritually mutilate themselves, Misa and Clove endorsed the behavior. While neither Misa or Clove asked or even brought up the practice, I still feel they acted wrongly.

On 7/25, Misa would post a template without context in the SHRINE section of Jackalope Society for a ritual. The template states “This action was my choice, I wasn't coerced or asked to do this”. An image was attacked of a Cross of Misa[Clove]. Later in the day, a disturbing image would be posted by Lucian in the ritual channel.

The message, posted by the sixteen-year-old, consisted of a statement along with two images attached. The images, which were spoilered and needed to be revealed. The statement read “I’ve been wanting to do this ever since I found myself in this society. In my opinion, doing this is one of the most important ways one can show one’s devotion, so it naturally makes me incredibly grateful that I get to express this commitment to you.”

Lucian had been a member since July 11th.

The attached images consisted of disturbing self mutilation, with the cross of Misa[clove]carved into both legs, with each having the name Misa or Clove carved into them.

Upon being questioned in private messages Misa revealed that Lucian was “incredibly devoted to [Clove]” and was pleased that Lucian had carved her name into their thigh. She said that she enjoyed the attention, stating “He loves [Clove] more but I'm glad he likes me too.”

A day later, Jack performed the ritual. Lucian had only been a member of the Jackalope Society for a month. They signed the image “I thank Misa and Paisley for bringing me joy, a sense of comfort and home, in this cruel, dark world. I will forever be your most devoted follower.”

After seeing this, Misa told Clove to look in general, showering them in praise, telling Jack she loved both them and the carving. Upon seeing the message, Clove responded “it’s amazing…[Jack] is so cool”. While not outright asking Lucian or Jack to carve the sigil into themselves, Misa and Clove actively praised them for it.

The entire affair disgusted me. Seeing the images dropped my stomach, along with any admiration or respect I’d still carried for Misa. I felt that I was an idiot for even considering her as a friend. The ritual was the harsh wake up call I didn’t know I needed.

Misa and Clove grew paranoid, and hid the channel from anyone unable to see the gore channel, later removing both channels entirely.

I knew I was in over my head then. I was falling into the group’s ideology. I even considered giving up the project. Misa almost had me. I knew I was about to reach the event horizon, so I introduced an anchor, Faith (pseudonym). Faith was a real-life friend of mine whom I’d been telling everything to, even before I introduced her. She was a life preserver, keeping me from falling too far off the deep end. But still, I felt guilty about all the lies. So what did I do? What any reasonable person would do- lie even more.

introduced myself to Misa and Paisley, who were both deeply suspicious of me. Misa worried I was a bug, which admittedly, she hit the nail on the head. I was. Misa assured ignota that the JS was not the worst place to be, which was true, but depravity was not what interested me. It was the how and why of the JS that interested me. Still, they gave me the go-ahead, and I interviewed Sunny, Misa, Clove (pseudonym), and Jack.

IV: Misa

Misa credits her angelic status to a mix of isolation and lack of love in her surroundings, primarily from her mother. Her childhood was turbulent, which may have caused her DPDR. These early foundational experiences detached her from society. In an earlier form of her manifesto, she says “For a long time I was a child of apathy, I wasn't allowed to care because everything was so horrible.” She states she is still a child of apathy, and that asking her to care for others is selfish, when she can’t, saying “nobody has been good to me.” This profound loneliness led Misa to believe she was the only one of her kind, that she was an “angel”. Misa seemed to crave attention and connection. When I was infiltrating the group, mis a confessed the group was not entirely aesthetics based. She had created it to find others like her, others like “us”.

The first time we spoke, I had asked Misa about how she started the Jackalope Society, and how she came to be an angel. I had heard it all before, but I wanted a cohesive narrative.

INTERVIEW:

I: Misa, would you want to talk about the origins of the JS and it's philosophy? We've talked about angels, but I'd still like to know more

M: yeah

I: How, and why, did you found this community?

M: me and my friend joined a com server

M: it wasnt paticularly one of the bad ones

M: it was called swats or something

M: ran by these horny eboys and egirls

M: who did gross shit on stream

M: and the curious thing was that theyd get 100 people or more in the audience

M: so not that I wanted to necessarily replicate it but I was inspired

Seeing this community lit a fire under Misa. From this inspiration, came her own community, Bunnipol. ”I wanted to co-own a server with my friend, someplace toxic where I could just bully the members.” According to Misa, it was supposed to be a server dedicated to gore, something However, according to her, the members were too sensitive, and she never got to have the server she truly wanted.

M:I wanted to co-own a server with my friend

M: someplace toxic where I could just bully the members

M: it never ended up happening though

M: so obviously my intentions now are pure and good

M: that was just hypothetical

M:so anyways it used to be called bunniopol

M: it was just a place for my online discord friends

M: I wanted it to be a guro=gore server but the members were really sensitive

M:so we didnt have that until later

M: its not primarily that at all but theres one chat for it

M:do you follow

M:does it make sense

M:so far

M:I'll just continue

At this same time, Misa was undergoing an awakening, she was becoming an angel. Bunnipol quickly spiraled into the first inklings of the Jackalope Society, then called the Seraphim Society. At this time, she would meet her now former co-leader, Clove. The shape the group hold naw was forming. “it went from a typical community server to a cult dedicated to me.” Misa states she enjoyed the attention, but it wasn't a “real” cult.

M: it became the seraphim society

M: the seraphim = me but also just angels in general

M: back then it was just me and my friend

M:no angels were in the server

M: not really

M: but interesting people

M: it was a nice community

M:people come and go

M: almost all of the old members are gone now

From here, Misa would meet Clove.

M:anyways [clove] my comrade

M:she had her own server>

M:called the divinity of deer

M:and it really inspired me

M:it was a cult for her

M:and people would worship her

M:theyd make her art

M:and thats when I really embraced the cult thing

M: worship and devotion

V: Clove

Like Misa, Clove considered herself to be a being of higher consciousness.

When I first introduced myself, ironically for the second time, Paisley was apprehensive, especially after her previous experiences. I was upfront about what my goals were, but she still seemed worried. Despite that, she agreed to talk. When I asked her about the Divinity of Deer, she said: “Well, my last server was called Divinity of Deer, and I also had the philosophy of the whole awareness thing. Lots of people worshiped me in a very healthy way. Those who didn’t want to stay were very free to go.” Paisley started the server as a safe palace for those who felt lonely, and to share her philosophy. When Misa joined, Paisley says they found common ground on philosophy and worldview.

However, running the server wasn’t a cakewalk. Soon into running the group, Paisley received a review criticizing the group on her disboard. The review has now gone missing, however I was able to archive a statement made by Paisley, referring to the author of the review as “a filthy liar”. In it, Paisley alleges she was called a “stain on the occult community,” and was accused of allowing ritualized self-harm. While this is untrue, Paisley expressly disallowed this behavior, she did accept blood as an “offering” from her followers, as long as it was their own and it was an accident.

However, what finally killed Clove’s server was her personal friends discovering the server. I was not able to find out how, but someone Clove knew grew incredibly concerned for her. Clove and Misa brushed off this concern, with Misa later commenting in an interview, “They could never understand or comprehend what we are.” Following these events, Clove withdrew from the group, and appeared to have left entirely. Following this, Clove deleted every respone she had to the questions I had asked her using ingota.

VI: Sunny

In her manifesto, Misa, personified as a rabbit mentions a “soulmate”, Sunny (pseudonym), personified as a cat.

" The black cat and the white rabbit were connected by something more than just wires, they laid under the weeping willow tree while they discussed the world. The black cat saw nothing in the world, it constantly toiled over its own existence. Everything was meaningless and so was it, it sank into someplace dreadful and wanted to die. The white rabbit saw something else, the world was meaningless but beautiful, there was beauty to be found in each other, and it found solace that one day they might be together, no longer separated by screens. “Don’t love me,” said the black cat, “Find me in your skin,” and then it went away for good. One wanted to love and the other wanted to leave, the rabbit was left alone, the connection faded as the distance between them grew, and when it was gone the rabbit forgot what it felt like to be connected to something else."

I was confused considering the nature of her relationship to Misa, and thus tracked her down using the chat record. When she spoke to me, she originally denied all involvement. However, whenI mentioned the chat log and the Realm Ov Misa, she added me to a group to verbally discuss things with me. She was apprehensive, believing that I was Misa.

While speaking to Sunny, she revealed she was there for the beginning of the society, but was no longer connected. They met online through a mutual friend. Misa and Sunny would talk, and when Sunny would reveal her perceptions on life, speak about her DPDR. and feelings, Misa would label her an angel. Once the server was founded, Sunny felt things had gone too far. Peter,a former friend of Misa, had carved Misa’s name into his arm. Both Sunny and Misa would corroborate this.

She seemed to hold an extremely negative view of Misa, calling her “a deluded white boy.” According to Sunny, she inspired Misa’s ideas about angels. They talked about life and their perceptions of the world. Sunny noted that DPDR wasn’t a large part of Misa’s ideology until they began talking. At some point, they had an large falling out and stopped talking.

VI: Chekov's Webpage and My Conclusions

I felt I was nearing the end of my work, I was approaching somewhat of a rough draft, and began assembling somewhere to post it. I settled on a neocities page, and began laying out the css. I told another friend of mine about the jackalope society, finding the entire situation hilarious in a dark sort of way. It was an oddity to me at the time, a group of teenage cultists on the internet. She was was deeply worried for me and my safety. She urged me to quit the project, thinking I would fall into the groups Ideolog. I left more and more space between me and the Jackalope society. I was more distant, sure, but I was still there.

Eventually, I forgot all about The Jackalope Society. I forgot about anything related to it, forgot about the half-finished pages, forgot about the tumblr I’d set up, my work, everything. I went about life as normal, entirely abandoning the project at the advice of my friend.

Having some free time I checked my notifications. Someone had followed the Tumblr. I checked my discord. I had been found out. The draft I had left had been found. Chekhov's gun had gone off. Ignota had been removed from the server, and I’d been blocked by Misa. I found messages from a follower of Misa’s I was added to a chat with Sunny and Misa.

It seemed Sunny and Misa had forgiven eachother for their falling out. Misa felt I ahd invaded her privacy by joining the public group, and publishing information she had freely given. It was hard to discern Sunny’s thoughts.Sunny proceeded to call me racial slurs and sexually harass me in defense of Misa. At one point, she told me to slit my throat so that she could “dick the wound down” . After a while she apologized, saying she was bored. Misa urged me not to post the piece, and take down the draft. I did not oblige. I took their criticism, and I published this essay. I feel deeply to my core that the sharing of information is one of the most vital parts of the internet. All the information anyone gave me was freely given.

I still really don’t know what exactly I think with respect to Misa, Sunny, or the Jackalope Society. When they found my rough draft, one of Misa’s followers asked me exactly what I thought of each of them, and being someone who isn’t particularly good with words, I was at a complete loss. The best I could come up with was that the JS was an incredibly mixed bag. “I've got a lot of mixed opinions," I told him "I really think Misa means well, I think she's just got some things going on.” I saw the value in community for those who felt different, but the praise of dissociation and disconnect from humanity deeply worried me. I felt the Consigils were a deeply unethical practice Misa and Clove should never have allowed, even if they later stopped endorsing it.

All in all, I don’t think the JS is a cesspool, but rather a mix of great and terrible. I’d never seen anything like it, nor do I want to see anything like it again.

THE END.

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